Terry’s Top 10: Things to do in Myrtle Beach in the Snow
Someone refresh my memory about whether we're living in Myrtle Beach or the North Pole. With ice on the streets and snow in the forecast, it's hard to tell these days.
I don't know about you, but I came to the Grand Strand so that I wouldn't have to see another snow flake as long as I live. Even a corn flake is too close to the real thing.
That's why I've created this week's top 10 list just for folks who are out of their element in this winter weather – the top 10 list of things to do in Myrtle Beach in the snow:
10) Hop in your car and race to the nearest Bi-Lo to hoard up all the fresh milk and bread, and maybe even some non-perishable food items just in case all this wet and white stuff truly is the sign of the Apocalypse. If the going gets rough, you can hole up until the start of spring or the end of the nuclear winter, whichever comes first.
9) Go into your best denial mode, put on your best Bermuda shorts, “I Heart Myrtle Beach” T-shirt and flip-flops and hang out downtown at the Myrtle Beach Boardwalk. Ignore the fact that the thermometer says its freezing and the wooden walkways are covered in ice; it can always be summertime in your heart. It's all m-m-mind over m-m-matter.
8) Buy a sled (for those of you unfamiliar with the contraption, it's a device designed for sliding on the snow) and head down to Myrtle Waves for an afternoon of fun without the sun. Cut on the water for a few hours and watch this splash-tastic summer place magically transform into a winter wonderland perfect for doing loop-de-loops and doughnuts.
7) Mmm, speaking of doughnuts, how about a trip downtown to Mr. Donut for a cream-filled and a cup of coffee? Nothing beats the cold like a fresh cup of joe and some fried dough that melts in your mouth and coffee. Let the book-readers have their Starbuck's and triple latte mocha espressos; real Southerners prefer a dozen glazed and hot java.
6) Strap on the ice skates and head to Market Common for some real ice skating. I know, the upscale shopping area's rink is really a synthetic surface, sort of like skating on Saran Wrap, but with weather like this is just a matter of time before the fake thing gets covered by the real thing. Bring along some toothless friends and a puck and a hockey game might break out.
5) Take advantage of the down time in the tourism season and get a room at one of the many luxury resorts around town. Many of them have enclosed pool areas with hot tubs and water slides. Pack only a swimsuit and a blender for this stay-cation and spend the winter weekend cruising down the heated lazy river with an umbrella drink in hand.
4) Go hang out with the myriad snowbirds from the Great White North who invade our shores every January. Compared to the weather from where they hail, this is like the Fourth of July. You can pick them out – pasty white skin, always saying “Eh” and the only ones swimming in the ocean this time of year without wearing a wetsuit. You'll have a dandy time, eh?
3) Crawl up on the couch, wrap yourself in a blanket, turn on the television and set your alarm for April. All kinds of animals get away with hibernating through the winter; why can't we? Of course, you'll need a heavy supply of food and Nyquil to stay comatose for so long, but it will be worth it when you wake up just in time for the start of spring break.
2) Two words that actually make up one: snowmobile. While locals are spinning their wheels in their automobiles, you'll be blowing their doors off with a contraption that will probably cause some UFO sightings on the Strand. Imagine zooming past all those golf carts at the Grande Dunes or running roughshod past those miniature cars at NASCAR SpeedPark.
1) When the weather gives you lemons, make frozen lemonade. Hey, world, that's not snow on our 60-mile stretch of coastline; that's our new white-sand beaches. And imagine the convenience of not having to carry coolers to the beach; you're favorite beverages (and everything else) stay ice-cold. We could become the first beach with its own built-in freezer.